Threshold Consulting: It's Your Life, Own It!

So, what's in your life portfolio?

From the time that Socrates first uttered the injunction to "Know thyself," countless others have chimed in with the same advice. Most people have a basic sense of self. Yet, most of the people I've worked with lack insights into what they have going for them in their lives.

In life transitions generally, but perhaps in career transition in particular, it is critical to know what you can bring to successfully meeting the challenges you face in building a new life. In my work, therefore, I use a "portfolio" concept to help people see the "assets" that they own and can use. Life ownership, then, involves identifying your assets, understanding how they interact, and knowing how to put them to use to benefit yourself and others.

So, let's consider some of the assets that are in your portfolio. While this is not an exhaustive list, here are some of the assets I ask people I work with to focus on:

Enlightened Choices

In an earlier post, I raised the question of whether or not values-based choices, made in your own self interest, are selfish choices. Certainly to own your life takes, in large part, conformity to your own values. This, despite the vast philosophical literature on this topic is almost a no brainer. Act in conformity with someone else’s values or wishes and you give up some piece of life ownership.

Still, you need to deal with the issue of selfishness, for you live in a world where you not only need to own your life but also interact well with others. So, let’s start with a definition of selfish; a pertinent meaning is this: “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.”  So, a selfish choice is one that is made at the expense of someone else. These kinds of choices often lead to resentments in others.

What exactly does it mean to “own your life?”

Let’s think about this statement: “It’s your life, own it.” Upon hearing it, your immediate reaction might be, “Of course, it’s my life. I do own it.” And while you can probably name at least one individual that ought to “get” a life, you certainly own yours.

Or do you?

Like most people, life has no doubt brought you those moments when it seemed like things were out of control. You faced too many competing demands. You felt obligated in some uncomfortable way. You felt overwhelmed. Or you possibly felt trapped and in need of a change for the better. Come to think of it, there may have been those times when you secretly admitted to yourself, “Man, I need to get a life.” Yeah, me too.

Balancing Your Life Circle

My generation, when we finally realized the terrible inconvenience of dying before we got old, began to articulate a new mantra. Well, actually, there have been many mantras, but the one that I want to focus on here is work-life balance. Over the years, we have made the plaintive cry for balance, meaning more time for our families and personal lives, even as we wore our workaholism as a badge of honor.

If you, whatever your generation, crave more balance in you life, then it’s important to avoid trying to balance time. In fact, time management, according to the Human Performance Institute and The Energy Project, is less effective than energy management. They have a point. Going beyond the fact that their concepts support development of the “Corporate Athlete,” you’ll find that they also support investing and recovering energy used in the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual dimensions of life.

Long story short: this begins to look like a more holistic approach.

Own A Life of Achievements – Yours!

Okay, you’re not alone if your first thought upon seeing the word “achievement” in the title of this post was of those slick Successories posters with the motivational sayings. You know, a photo of a happy group of people at work placed above words that remind you that there is no “I” in “Team.” Well, it was my first thought too. Of course, it was quickly followed by a flow of images of my favorite Despair, Inc. posters.

Yet, it is precisely the juxtaposition of these contrasting motivational accessories that highlights the point of this piece: true achievement in your life is grounded in personally meaningful events and outcomes that make you feel proud because they reflect who you are and what is meaningful to you. As well, a true achievement brings you insights about your capabilities, and inspires you to go out and achieve more.

Achieving a milestone on the road to someone else’s vision of success may bring you personal recognition and reward, but may be shallow if it did not in some way tap your vision, values, passions, or purpose. This can happen at work, it can also happen in other parts of your life.

So, the question is: Is your life an expression of someone else's vision?

Getting "You" into Your Self Assessment

Assessment. Now, there’s a word you probably don’t take time to think about. It means to determine a value, as in the price for a piece of property, or to determine a level, as in a level of risk. Given these meanings, it’s safe to say that you make lots of daily assessments. Mostly you assess the external world, making determinations that support your choices. And that’s a good thing; for without weighing external factors, you could be making careless decisions.

Increasingly, people like you also look internally, making self assessments. Despite the discomfort associated with the appraisals that are so ingrained in your organizational life, you want feedback. So do lots of other folks. In response to this appetite, our pop-psychology-driven culture continually seeks to spark your curiosity about how you measure up in various ways. Whether it’s a short questionnaire in popular women’s and men’s magazine, a Tickle.com test, or a short test in a chain e-mail, you want to know.

It’s Your Choice

In owning your life you own your choices – all of them. Each and every day is fueled by the choices you make. Some choices are so ingrained they are habitual. Yet, all of your choices ultimately determine the degree of success and happiness you create for yourself and that you can bring to others. So, it’s important to make good choices. But what exactly is a “good” choice?

Well, since choices have results, we could say that a good result reflects a good choice. For example, having sorted through all the options in home décor, if you were happy with the look of a new piece of furniture in your home, you might say that it was a good choice. And the view that it was a good choice is validated every time you look at the piece furniture and feel good. Even if, over time, your feelings change with changing tastes, that piece of furniture represented a good choice at the time.

Well, this is fine for, let’s say a chair. What about your decisions in other areas of your life? Would it work equally well, to say you want to become a house painter, even though your decision to become a brain surgeon was a good one at the time?

So who am I, and why am I writing this blog?

Hello, my name is Walter, and I want to welcome you to the inaugural entry for my blog, "It’s your life, own it!" Here, on a regular basis, I will write about topics related to career/life planning and change.

With years of professional experience in counseling, coaching, consulting and training, I’ve helped countless people solve problems and create strategies that allowed them to advance their careers and improve their lives. It has been, and continues to be, rewarding work. Until recently, however, I was missing something really important about my work: the bigger picture!